I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
