I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm passing your future prison.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
