Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Found your dick twin last night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
