If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
