Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry about my life...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
