i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
