The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
