i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
