if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she peed on how many people?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize