OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
