I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I look better un-naked...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
