Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
