My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
