You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
