college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
