My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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