dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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