i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
