I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
