Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
God I need to hump something, right now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
