i just had sex bonerless
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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