i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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