apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
