We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
