haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
