yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just cropdusted the office
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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