I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Michael Bay diarrhea
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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