Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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