I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All the doctor said was why
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize