So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
