talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ambien. No doubt about it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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