you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
