I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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