Can i not drive my cunt home
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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