i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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