it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
