I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize