someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize