and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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