I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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