just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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