he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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