I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize