I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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