So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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