Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
