Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
