i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
