Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
