Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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