what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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