sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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