She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
