so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
