Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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