just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
