'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
