Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He felt like a one man threesome
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize