omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
