It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
ok first of all what the fuck
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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