i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
