Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
